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Never force children to Pray
Thursday 4 July 2013 | 0 comments
Never force children to Pray. At dinner, a little boy was ordered to lead in prayer...BOY: But i don't know how to pray. DAD: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc. BOY: "Dear Lord" he started, Thank u for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream.Bless them so they wont come again. Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, plz send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's Blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work ???AMEN???? Dinner was cancelled. Don't be selfish & laugh alone Plz 'share
Little african boy vs white police men
Friday 28 June 2013 | 0 comments
Small boy: with my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Small boy: with me.
Police: And where do you live all?
Small boy: Together
Police: Where is Your Home?
Small boy: Beside my neighbours' house.
Police: Where is your neighbours' house?
Small boy: if I tell you, you will not believe me.
Police: tell me?
Small boy: next to my house. .....
LOL
A stressed man
Saturday 22 June 2013 | 0 comments
thinking deeply. Suddenly a man
ran inside shouting, "Peter!!
Peter....!!! Peter!! Your daughter
Tonia just had an accident and died. "
Shocked and confused, he jumps out of the office window. As soon
as he jumped, he remembered his
office is on the 7th floor, as he
descends lower he remembered that he doesn't have
a daughter
called Tonia. Still descending he remembered he is not even
married. Just two floors before he
hits the ground, he remembered
that his name is not even Peter......
Luckily, he wasn't
injured because he fell on top of the lorry carrying mattress.
MORAL LESSON: stop thinking too much, try and
live a stress free life.no matter wat cast ur burdenz on ur heavenly fada it is well..
Blackberry don chop my money tire
Monday 17 June 2013 | 0 comments
chop my money tire, na im I come vex yesterday sell am, come take some money buy China phone! Now am in bigger trouble!!!
1. E go full after 3 minutes of charging:O.
2. The phone get TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, Firelighter etc #:-s.
3. I fit write Text message with a toothpick sef X_X.
4. The spelling get mistakes e.g NokLa,
blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc :s.
5. When aeroplane pass e go record "One missed Call">:/.
6. When a big truck horn; ego show "Charger connected" 8-|.
7. When Chinese man pass ego show: "One Bluetooth device found" =)).
8. When fine guys waka
passe,ego show "Ur favourite food found" :$.
9. When ugly guys waka pass, e go show, "Virus detected" /:).
Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buy ooo?
Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen: "No contact found :(
I don hear wehn for dis chinco fone
WHICH OF THESE GIRLS IS THE GREATEST LIAR?
Friday 7 June 2013 | 0 comments
....Amaka: Waiter, I like my salad very hot, also
can I have 2 bottles of Sharwarma?
...Tope: Ore mi give me your pin let me call you.
....Bukola: I'm so tired I just finished making ƺ hair @ Shoprite
....Gift: Really? I want to spend my summer I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ London this Christmas.
....Cynthia: I just bought a BB but I haven't
collected my pin.
...Tricia brags: when I'm flying, I like to sit at the
window so I can open it for fresh air.
.....Fatima: I prefer London to UK during winter
....Titi: you can't imagine; I just bought a G-string
and the thing I love most about it is the back
pocket.
....Bukola: If you don't have meat pie, egg roll or
scotch-egg; give me snacks
....Eno: In our house, we had 3 swimming pools
until armed robbers stole one.
Abeg, who lie past
An Hausa man goes into a library
Sunday 26 May 2013 | 0 comments
An Hausa man goes into a library to ask for a book on suicide, an Ibo man is the Librarian…
Hausa man: Pls do you have a book on suicide?
Ibo man: Wetin u wan read that kind book for?
Hausa Man: I wan commit suicide!
The Ibo man stares at him and says, abeg comot for here… Who go come return the book?
Akpos, Jona and his wife
Wednesday 22 May 2013 | 0 comments
He was shocked to see his wife with another
man (Jona). He told his wife to get out of d
room. Then he said "Jona, what are you doing
here?" Jona replied "I love ur wife and she
loves me too." To this, Akpos said, I know she
loves me not you. After a long
conversation, they decideded "we'll hold our
guns and fire at each other and pretend to be
dead, she will mourn who she loves
most". The wife hears the gunshots, she
enters d room, shocked and surprised.
Suddenly she started laughing loudly, rejoicing
and shouting, "Kay, get out of that
wardrobe, these two idiots are dead!". .
Akpos, pretending to be dead, fainted from there!
Akpos and yaba mental hospital
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Hospital after the doctors thought he was finally
back to normal.
They put him in an Ambulance to be taken back
home.
They took him to Omole, as he claimed that's where
he lived.
Just as they approached a certain house, 2 kids
dressed in school uniforms came out of the house.
Akpos screamed; "Those are my children, theyare
going to school".
A minute later a woman came out of the samehouse
and Akpos screamed; "That's my wife, she is
late for work."
This time the doctors were
convinced Akpos was okay and took him out ofthe
ambulance but was still in chains.
As they were about unlocking the chains, a man
came out of the house and Akpos screamed;"Yes,
that's me, i am going to my office."
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